Oh, life.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Well. The past 24 hours have been extremely stressful. I realized last night right around this time that I did not know if I actually want to go abroad for two consecutive semesters. I don't freak out very often but last night was pretty bad and it took me til almost four in the morning to fall asleep. I've spent all day talking to my friends and family and have gotten their opinions on my situation. I am definitely going to Russia next semester but my internship in Dublin is what is the problem. Here's what I've come up with for my argument:

-I didn't get as good a job as I was hoping for this summer which means I'm not making nearly enough to get me through two semesters
-After one semester abroad (in one of the most expensive cities in the world) I will be lucky to be able to afford gas when I get home
-I also realize I don't like work. Interning would be full time job and no school or studying. I want to enjoy my studying for as long as I can because pretty soon the rest of my life will be work
-One of the reasons I wanted to go to Dublin was so that I could travel around the rest of Europe but working 5 days a week and being completely broke will probably prevent me from doing that
-My friends were planning on meeting me in Europe at the beginning of next summer for a three week backpacking trip. If I was abroad for two semesters I don't think I would be able to afford a trip like that
-Doing two semesters abroad has put me on an extremely strict schedule and if I didn't get all the course I need when I needed them senior year there is chance I wouldn't be able to complete both majors
-If I came back to Stonehill I would be able to take a few course and still do an internship
-Doing an internship in the Boston area would probably be much better than Dublin with getting my foot in the door and possible job opportunities

Aside from all of that is the fact that most of my friends are going to be seniors this year and I will never have the opportunity to hang out with them like last year. That alone makes me sad (although I'm not making this decision just based on that).

On top of all the stress of thinking about that, some guy hit my car in the parking lot at work today. Ugh. He came and found me which I appreciate. He also offered me $100 which I regret not taking after thinking about money the whole time I've been writing this but it's too late now. There is a dent but it just matched the other side where my mother likes to back into me. One of the downfalls of having a tiny fuel efficient car- bigger cars never see it while backing up. As long as it still drives I'm happy.

I'm going to go try to get more than 4 hours of sleep and hopefully not think about this stuff for a while.