Thursday, April 3, 2014

Is it incredibly conceited of me to believe that I am destined to do something great?  Perhaps it's simply more delusional.  Maybe I am just living up to every stereotype of a millennial.

I struggle on a daily basis to accept what I am doing.  The routines I go through, the monotony of every day.  The easiest days are the ones in which I am too busy to stop and think, but when I do I immediately feel down.  I feel like I am letting myself down.  I know I am smart and capable and yet I find myself, day after day, doing the same thing.  Even worse, I don't actually do anything to change that.  How can I be mad about not doing something great when I'm not actually committed to working towards that?

I'm sure this is something most people struggle with at some point in their lives.  I don't think anyone is every fully satisfied with where they are and what they are doing and I'm not so full of myself to believe that I should be doing something better than everyone else... just something better than what I am currently doing.  Perhaps for some people what I am doing right now is more than enough, but I can't honestly say it is for me. 

I am thinking about moving back home.  I've asked my parents to speed up the timeline of their basement renovations and I will hopefully claim that as my space.  My motivation to do this is in part to save money, but more so because right now I feel trapped.  Aside from not having money to do anything, I feel like renting an apartment could hinder me from jumping at a great opportunity when it arises.  I know nothing is going to be handed to me, but I genuinely am afraid that if and when I suddenly have that enlightened moment about what I truly want to do with my life, I wouldn't be able to chase after it because I'd be bogged down with a lease and debt. 

As much as I hate all of the millennial bashing, I know that most of it is true. But after watching my parents struggle to make ends meets for the last 26 years, why is it so outrageous to believe that I might strive for something greater... something bigger than myself?  I don't have dreams of changing the world or being the next overnight millionaire,  I really just want to do something I enjoy and make enough money to survive.  That, to me, would be greatness. 

1 comment:

  1. That would be greatness to me as well. I totally understand your thoughts. I want to do something I really enjoy too. That can't be too much to ask for. Good luck with everything! You deserve it!